Crisis at Krystal

Had such a regrettable dining experience at the small burger joint known as “Krystal” burger, I felt obliged to tell you folks about it. The place was located just off I20, one hour East of Atlanta in a small southern town complete with a cut and shoot bar, a juke joint and your local Odd Fellows lodge.

In keeping with my image as a sophisticated southern gentlemen, I always stop to sample the local fare when traveling in these parts. My wife and daughter, not being the adventurous type, decided to wait in the car as I quickly dropped in.

The first bad omen was when the man ahead of me in line decided to order the “steamer”, that’s 24 Krystal burgers for the laymen. A large order indeed but nothing to panic about, these folks are pros. I noticed the second omen while giving my order to Tammy. It appeared that teenage Tammy was the on duty manager, drive thru teller and also in command of the front register.

Tammy sure made me feel like a real asshole as she allowed me to answer several questions before rolling her eyes at me and pointing to her headset. She then let me know she had been taking a drive thru order and I would need to start over.

I had been seated for about twenty minutes, politely waiting on my 5 Krystal burgers when the frustration began to boil over. Through the window I could clearly see a Burger King across the street where I imagined everyone was having it “their way”.

Suddenly Big Tracy barged through the front door as she returned from what no doubt must have been a two hour smoke break. She appeared to have found her uniform at the bottom of some rancid duffle bag where she stored her work clothes and discarded mustard packets. I was about to give her the look of a disgruntled, impatient customer, hoping it might speed her return to the fryer. One look from her put an end to that idea, it was that look that said “I wish a motherfucker would” and it is understood in all cultures.

As I sat there stewing, I had half a mind to storm across the street, barge directly into the inner sanctum of the neighboring Burger King and plead my case to his majesty. With only 10 of his finest Knights I could storm that Krystal shithouse and liberate all of the starving patrons inside.

Only moments before I began my siege, Tammy handed me my burgers and apologized for the long wait. I shrugged my shoulders, told her it was no big deal and headed for the door. I ate 4 of the burgers as I crossed the lot then jumped in the car, polished off the last one and got back on the road.


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