So I almost got killed by some chick in a Prius today. Girl is texting and driving then decides to cut me off on HW 183. Hey honey, how about you put the phone away and concentrate on the road.
Had to swerve across two lanes of traffic to avoid this hussy, spilled blue cheese sauce all over my car and almost dropped my swisher. I ended up eating the rest of my wings plain like an animal. To top it all off, my Jalaepeno cheddar cheetos got drenched in Diet Coke.
I eventually caught up to this Eco friendly airhead only to notice a couple of the most repugnant bumper stickers ever made. One simply read “Free Carbon Credits, Suck Here” with an arrow pointing towards the exhaust pipe. The other sticker was some type of cryptic warning about acid rain. Having had my fill of insults I dropped the Bu down into third and punched it.
We made eye contact as I passed, she must have noticed my cigar for she immediately began coughing violently. She actually wasn’t trying to be obnoxious but the Pavlovian training was too strong in this one. I was laughing so hard as I typed up this post I ended up cutting her off and almost crashed into the guardrail.